My Life as a Leaf Eater

I was recently introduced to the term “leaf eater”. This term was referencing me and my fellow support folks within a certain military community. “Herbivore” was later used by the same individual and that made me smile while my brain went to thinking. Is being a leaf eater, really a bad thing? Now this rant, I am sure, will infuriate a few but I mean no harm and hope to simply shed some light on an area that often gets forgotten.

I am a logistician, I am by no means a line soldier. I support those boys, and girls now(?), who chose a weapon as their craft instrument. I chose parachutes. I will say that again, I CHOSE parachutes. I had the same opportunity to be one of those trigger pulling heroes but I took a different route. For the last 13 years I have been folding nylon and shoving it in a bag, rigging up trucks and boats on platforms, or sitting behind a sewing machine bringing a parachute back to life. I have supported a myriad of different units and done many different tasks , away from logistics, along the way. I don’t ever boast but I am pretty good at what I do.  I am a quartermaster, I am a combat enabler, I am a support guy, I am a rigger, and I volunteered to do those things. 

Do we, as support soldiers, get the chance to become the weapon experts you are? No. More often than not we go out to the range once a year, qualify as fast as we can, and then head back to work. Those parachutes aren’t going to pack themselves. We also don’t get the tactical training as often. That doesn’t mean we aren’t useful in a fight, we just may need a couple more rounds through a shoot house than you to get comfortable. We do on occasion eat a hardy salad because our physical training time doesn’t allow the mass protein and carb intake that yours does. If I could spend 4 hours a day, during the duty day, under a bench press bar or in front of a cross fit gym mirror I would too. Ok that’s a lie, I hate the gym, but I would run my tits off or find a mountain to climb. (The last one was a jab but come on, we all know one of “those” guys at the gym.) 

We often get overlooked or worse not looked at at all. As support guys we have to listen to how tired you are and how much harder you work then we do. Even though we were there hours before and I don’t let my guys go usually til you are done and comfortable. We get put in the expendable pile far too often and get told frequently that you, the carnivore, could do our job. Well let me tell you that that is entirely true. You sure could. A well trained monkey could do our job to be honest. It is often repetitive and monotonous. The same 8-10 steps 20 to 25 times a day. But if you had to do our job, how well could you do your job? We SUPPORT you. We are not your slaves or bitch detail, we are there to take over aspects of your mission so you can focus on your primary objective. Shooting bad guys in the face. Every single person in military logistics chose to take on that responsibility for you. Now if you want to run my rigger shed on top of doing a requal, preparing your next training concept, range time, and shaking that very heavy rope for an hour, then by all means come down and give it a try. You really don’t need to though. That’s why we are here. The leaf eaters are here to help. We are not in the business of saying no. We have to on occasion because training plans often reach for the stars and are based in a reality that simply does not exist or is unattainable. But its rare. We compromise, my soldiers bare the weight of my trying to meet your training goals, but we are not, I say again, in the business of saying no. 

I am a Leaf Eater. I chose to be one. My career in this man’s army will be as a Parachute Rigger and I am proud of that. I have done some incredibly cool things as a rigger and will cherish them all. I appreciate the things you do and the sacrifices you make to do them. Thank you for choosing that job so I had the ability to choose mine. I will do my job to the highest standard I am able and keep you all in the fight. All I ask in return, is while we are out melting under the Arizona sun, hating life on the DZ at 29 Palms, or picking up pieces of a load that didn’t quite make it(We can collectively blame the Air Force almost every time right?), remember the same guy that called me an Herbivore said “You(carnivore) volunteered three times to be here. Congratulations. Get over it.”  

Sincerely,
SFC Herbivore Rigger

New Years Resolution

Websters defines a resolution as a "a formal expression of opinion, will, or intent voted by an official body or assembled group".  Every year we, as official bodies, make resolutions that will hopefully guide and steer us through the year ahead. These personal "firm decisions" we make for ourselves on the eve of the coming year or waning moments the morning of, are often met with failure or "adjustment" by the end of January. However this doesn't seem to stop or slow us down in making fresh ones the following year. So why bother? Why do we come to such stout positions on our weight, activity, profession, and hobbies? To me it seems to almost dull the purpose. A new year. A fresh start. A brand new slate wiped clean by a lit up ball falling in New York City should suffice right? Nope. We need to resolve to do something. Whether or not we do it is another resolution for the following year I guess. As silly as these things seem I never fail to be amused while listening to these commitments to self and their incredible diversity. Most of them are commendable at best, ridiculous at worst, and spoken with all seriousness available. I must admit I am a bit of a pessimist and the guy that asks on February 1st "So how's that working for ya?" Those answers are equally as entertaining. So, as with most of my blogs, I am going to challenge you yet again. I want you to look up the word "Endeavor". Read the description and then join me, if you so choose, and make a list of this years "endeavors"you and your family will pursue in 2012.

My ENDEAVORS:
1. Eat less quantity and more quality.
2. Run a 10 miler at least once a month.
3. Play harder than I work.
4. Make my wife fall in love with me every day.
5. Find my balance.

My Family ENDEAVORS:
1. More time outside than in
2. Move, grow, learn as a team
3. Laziness is not an option
4. Climb a mountain
5. Run a race as a family
6. Be well

So who is with me?

What will your 2012 endeavors be?

My hope is that all of you look back one year from today and say "Now that was a great game".

Wheres the JOY?!?!

So over the years I have grown to detest Christmas. Not the morning of, nothing makes me happier than to see joy in my families faces, but the whole mindset that surrounds it. I was raised in the church and strongly believe that the reason for the celebration is the birth of Jesus but somewhere along the way that thought has been buried under presents, schedules, and the human desire to use "stuff" instead of word or deed to express emotion. The joys of the holiday have been replaced by violence over cheap tvs, stress to make sure we find THE thing for kids, and the pressures we put on ourselves to scramble about making sure we dont miss a thing. I dont remember these things in my childhood. Some of that was due to the oblivion of youth but I also believe that things have simply gotten worse as generations progress from childhood into what we now call "adults". Christmas was magical. Christmas music blaring from the day of the first snowfall, the second Saturday of December dedicated to putting up the tree with full decor, and the calm serenity of our candle lit Christmas eve service all grace the chambers of my memory. Feeling calm and thankful for my wonderful family are feelings I remember with great ferocity. Ferociously calm, think about that one for a while.

Now I am not unaware of the fact that things change when the tables turn. I go from joyous receiving to joyous giving, or something like that. I love giving. I love seeing joy on faces and knowing that in some way I had a hand in providing that emotion. If it were only that simple. Or is it that simple? Are we our own biggest enemies when it comes to this time of year? My wife, Jill, and I have gone round for round, blow for blow on this very topic. She loves to give. It is her way of showing emotion, showing love. She is not an overly affectionate woman so when the time comes she goes waist deep into it because she wants to show her love for our kids. The argument always goes to quality vs. quantity, physical "stuff" for emotional response, and on and on and on... I never win and after 13 years I have conceded the point and have regulated my response to one good tyrade for the cause then go back to my cave to be the Grinch until Christmas morning.

Wheres the Joy? How do I find it? Is it even there to be found. I am a geocacher(nearly professional) I am good at finding things, this should be easy. HA! I looked high and low. I went to the stores, and let me tell you for someone who hates shopping on any given Tuesday in April, this was a stretch. Joy in the faces of shoppers? Nope. In the folks walking in and out of the stores? Nope. The Santa dressed guy ringing a bell for spare change outside? Nope. The only joy I was able to find was that of the employees who were simply grateful to have a job this holiday season. I went to the churches, because surely the folks who have eternal life shored up are going to be joyous and celebrating the reason they will spend eternity in fellowship with their savior. Nope. They sat their with melancholy glances and half welcoming greetings to one another. The pastor tried his best to convey the joy but they just didn't seem to get it. Then comes the music. The worship time and those tunes we have listened to since our childhood began to echo throughout the building. My joy needle pegged! I was brought to tears. Surely this would ignite these folks... Nope. The guy at the end of the pew continued to sleep, the lady across the way kept updating her Twitter, and my "full tank" emptied almost as fast as it filled. Where is the Joy?! So now the only place I could turn to was my own home. Well this year my home is in our Explorer as we are in the middle of a PCS move over the holidays. This should be good. The "joys" of Christmas now packed into one vehicle with 2000+ miles of road in front of us and stops to family along the way. Holy bananas!! Well joy is in the oblivion of our children and at this point I will take what I can get. They are glad to see the cousins, glad that Christmas morning is fast approaching, and that even though we are "homeless" we are going to still rock some of the McGlynn family traditions. Christmas eve will find us around the TV watching "The Christmas Story". Christmas morning will be a little different due to our location but there will still be cinnamon rolls cooking and I will torture them by making them stay put in their room until I am ready with coffee(I am always ready far before they wake up but I like to torture them...my joy!). So where is the Joy? I am not sure but I am going to keep looking. Where is yours? How do you find Joy in this time of year? I believe the responses will all be the same. We find it in ourselves and that satisfies us for the one month a year we go through these shenanigans. But at some point that will falter as well so with that I will issue a challenge to all of you. Spread the joy. Find a way to share the things that make you feel the Joy of this holiday. How you do that is up to you and I hope its not with giving people "stuff". Give of yourselves, give of your families, and be well! Merry Christmas everyone. I pray blessings of love and JOY to you and your families this holiday season

A Heavy Heart

Its late and I am restless. The only outlet I know of at this time is here. I was hurt today. I was hurt today more so than I can recall in memory. I am in MI attending the death of my wife's father. A great man.  My wife is hurting and I am supposed to be here strong and steady, listening and caring, composed and collected. Not so much. I wanted to do this together. Hand in hand, side by side. But  she had other plans. I was set in the corner. I was place on the sidelines I was given the role of water boy when I wanted to be a starter. I didnt want to be in charge or have a voice I just wanted to be there. She didnt want me. She didnt want me with her. I felt all but invisible as I was introduced as Jill's husband, not by my wife but by her sister. I cant describe how much that has shaken me. I caught a glimpse of something that put me in a place I have never been. Feeling as though my connections and my family were not even a thought. I had thought out of all the family her and I were the strongest most put together. I watched her sister and her husband walk hand in hand tonight, say their good-byes, move as a team. She didnt even want me there. I was left to mourn the loss of a loved one on my own. Lonliness is terrible thing. For a person who was brought up with the value of family and cherishing the people you were blessed to call as such, being lonley in a room of people just didnt make sence. I know he wasnt my Dad. I know the loss wasnt for MY father but damnit let me in. Let us in. The kids and I are going to have to do this alone and I am so scared. I have been scared for a long time. I am in love with this woman and want to walk down this road of life with no one else but tonight showed me she doesnt feel the same way. Her thoughts are different and I dont know how to cope with that. My heart is heavy tonight and mind will not allow me to rest. I have to get through tomorrow and be the man in the corner again. I dont know where the strength to do that will come from but I will try. I want to hear her say I need you, I need my family, but I dont think that will come. I will try to rest but I believe this attempt to be futile. Until next time, goodnight.

The next generation- an exploration into music 2011

 I am very proud to say I have passed on the love of music to my children. My own diversified tastes have trickled down to my spawn leading them to listen to the likes of broadway musicals, old time jazz, and modern day pop. However in this tech savvy time we call 2011 I am working twice as hard to keep up with my children and their music exposure. This morning was a prime time for me to play catch up. With all the crew tucked in and sleeping I hit the media with a focus and determination to get a picture of todays music scene. Bouncing between three different "music television" channels, youtube, and iTunes I listened, watched, observed, and took notes. To sum up all my studies in a word I guess I would use "frightened". Here is an additional source of words (thesaurus.com)that applied:

abashed, aghast, alarmed, anxious,apprehensive, aroused, blanched, cowardly,cowed, daunted, discouraged, disheartened,dismayed, distressed, disturbed, faint-hearted,frightened, frozen, have cold feet, horrified, inawe, intimidated, nervous, panic-stricken,perplexed, perturbed, petrified, rattled, runscared, scared, scared stiff, scared to death,shocked, spooked, startled, stunned, suspicious,terrified, terror-stricken, timid, timorous,trembling, upset, worried

It wasn't necessarily the content that bothered me. In today's attitude of no boundary, pleasure seeking, money starved youth, artists like "Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj, and Eminem(not picking on the hip hop realm they are just the names sticking to my brain this morning) cannot say or sing anything that will shock or offend me. The content subject is something I can control and limit exposure(or at least try to) to my kids. What I cant control is the mesh of "pop" music into the world of rock, hip hop, r/b, and even country music.

The fact that artists are crossing lines and expanding boundaries should be a great thing. Something to look forward to right? No. Hell no! Unfortunately the "music" of all these collaborations sound the SAME! There is my fear friends. Losing any and all form of originality. I felt raw sense of loss this morning with the music I was listening to. A merge of electronic tones mixed with unimpressive vocals and scarce instrumentals seems to be the driving trend. Where have the impact artists gone? Where is this generation's Madonna, Michael Jackson, Miles Davis, The rolling stones or Van Halen? Lil Wayne and Lady Gaga are not going to cut it.Where can we begin to find a Roberta Flack, Eric Clapton or John Lennon? Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, or Usher? I think not. When children are more likely to pick up a mixing board and computer vs. a trumpet or drum sticks how can we hope to find our new Sachmo, Gene Krupa, or Carter Beauford? Alicia Keys was the closest I could surmise.

There is talent out there. For me to ignore that would be ignorant on a level I am not willing to even think about. There is music being made which is impressive, enjoyable, and creative. However it is getting increasingly harder to find. So how do I hope to change something in which I have no control? By encouragement. Friends and family I am going to ask you to dig. Dig into the world of music and find sources of talent. Seek out that original sound, goose-bump-causing vocal, or sick piano solo. Take the time to listen to the "indie" artist. Then support them! Find the shows, seek out the albums, and expose them to as many people you can!  Encourage your children to listen to everything! Diversify your taste. Lets join together and save the music of today!!

This is new...

Not to sure about this blogging thing but I will give it a try. I will not post often but when hit with the writing bug or need to vent I will punch away. Here is what I wrote this morning after a long quiet run through my community.

So after not sleeping well for the second night in a row and waking prior to the strike of four(am) I decided to punish my body for it's defiance and run it to death. Ok maybe not to death but at least give it a stern talking to! So I bundled up and hit the road for my normal three mile loop. About half way through my Ipod buddy called it quits, said"it's too cold, I will see you at the house", and left me with the sound of my breathing and the clunking of my feet. Neither of which are very interesting so I let my mind start to wonder. I suddenly found myself thinking about hills. The World English Dictionary calls them "a conspicuous  and often rounded  natural elevation of the earth's surface, less high or  craggy than a mountain". I have run in many states in this country of ours (and in countries other than ours) and have never been without these "conspicuous" buggers popping up slowing down my lightning speed...well you get it. 

As I ran on I continued to think about hills. Big ones, little ones, long sloping giants, and the monsters you dread or make special plans to take on. I run each one differently and by differently I mean running style. Short quick steps versus long open strides. But one method that is the same for every "natural elevation" is the mental competition in which I engage the hill. I am very competitve by nature, never arrogant, just hate to lose! So when presented with the challenge of a hill I put myself into competition mode. I give it a name, usually of someone who has challenged me over the years, I give it eyes near the top, and I often have conversations with it. Silently of course but occasionally it does sound like heavy breathing. I often tell the hill that "today is not your day", a phrase I often use with my soldiers when they want to race me back from three miles out. I engage the hill in a stare down the whole way up. Some people like to use the top of a hill as a goal and to them I say "stop selling yourselves short". My goal is ALWAYS beyond the hill, sometimes two or three more hills down the road. That way I have the pleasure of not only beating the hill but leaving it standing in defeat unable to challenge me again. All these thoughts led to the enevidible crossover into my life in the metaphorical sense. 

The types of hills we encounter in life vary in the same way as those I encounter on the road. Some are short, steep, and are easily taken by building speed and ripping up the side of them as fast as you can. Knowing full well that you will be winded at the top but can cruise along at a much gentler pace after. Then there are the long, gentle sloping giants that you never see the top of. Grueling run, constant struggle, no end in sight, never bad enough to bring your life to a stand still, but just enough to drain everything you are right out of you. And of course there are the "Monsters". These evil things are coming for you it seems and you can see them from a long way off. These daunting challenges threaten your very life at times. They are steep. They are giant. They pull everything you are from you and cast it aside like trash. Keep running. They get steeper near the top. Keep running. They are rough. They are unstable. Keep running. Even the top of the hill has hills. Keep running. 

If life were a flat surface, unwinding, unending,unchanging we would be bored to exhaustion. I know some of you wish for boredom. You desire the flat, expected, normal life where everything is good and nothing changes. No surprises. No real challenges. A constant jog through your existance here on earth. At times I too desire this, often on that long slow slope that never seems to end. However, it eventually ends and I keep running. That particular challenge in life is left behind me standing in defeat. Eventually my breathing slows back down, and I return to my normal pace. "This too shall pass" my friends. There is never a challege presented to you that you are not able to overcome. Never a hill placed  on the road of life that you cannot push through, breathe through, or be helped through. 

I often run alone. It's quiet. Silent. Meditational. Just me and the road. However there are those times when I cant do it alone. I need a buddy, a team, a squad. I need people around me to encourage, yell, challenge and drag me along.I need those I love. I need those I dont. When your "hills" get too much for you to handle look around. There are always people running behind and beside you. Trust them. Allow them to help. Never stop running and let them carry you, but bring them in close and use their strength to help you. Some hills were meant to run solo.There is a challenge there meant for you and you alone. Keep running.  But when these conspicuous bastards raise their ugly heads and you find yourself with a team running it together pull them in, look to the top and keep running. My team has included so many people over the years. My wife, my Kids, my parents, my siblings and the rest of my enormous family. The men I have had the privilege of leading and following during my time in the Army. Dear friends Kenny, Carlos,Seth, and Mark. Not a day goes by that  am not eternally thankful for each one of my "running" buddies. Thank you Lord for inundating me with incredible people. I love you all and hope you have a Blessed Christmas! Keep running!